Bedridden Days
Today is just one of those days. I am sure we are all familiar with that day that getting out of bed seems difficult. For me, today is that day. My arms and legs feel lanky and awkward; my mouth feels like it can't form the right words, so here I am, lying in bed even though it is passed two in the afternoon. It is a day like this where I cannot decide whether I am contemplating the meaning of life, or simply find my bed the most appealing way to spend my day. What is it that causes this type of day for people? Is it the loss felt over a newly absent loved one? Is it a bad breakup? A falling out with a close friend? Is it stress, anxiety, or pressure? Do we take days like this to recuperate from our busy lives? What is it about waking up on a given day that causes this instantly uncomfortable feeling? My anxiety on this particular day is caused by a simple little noise, the jingling of keys. Keys open all types of doors: patio doors, front doors, back doors, apartment doors, car doors, shop doors, and even dorm doors. They also open all the things we want to keep safely locked away, such as: our iPods, jewelry, diaries or journals, laptops, game systems, etc. However, isn't there a metaphorical meaning behind keys too?
I have worn a key around my neck plenty of times, but rarely have I been forced to ask what it stands for. When I have asked others what a key around their neck means, I have heard answers such as: "the key to victory," "the key to success," "the key to my heart," and "the key to my soul." If I had to choose meaning for my key, it would be "the key to happiness." This brings me back to my main source of anxiety, the jingling of keys, my key to open the door to happiness. It seems the keys others have are the ones bringing me down the most. I have hit a point in my life where, in social situations, if it comes down to choosing between a social dynamic or myself, I will always choose myself first. Even if it hurts or makes me feel isolated, I know it is the best to stand up for myself before becoming submissive to a social group’s dynamic. At the end of the day, you are all you've got. Never compromise yourself to appeal to others. Otherwise, you risk losing any true self you have. What person wants to lose them self so badly that they look in the mirror and don't know who they see staring back? My goal in the morning is to walk up to that mirror and see the strong and independent woman I know I am. Which is why I am now going to get out of bed and start my day. It may be a bit late, but, after all, the saying is, "better late than never," right?Today is just one of those days. I am sure we are all familiar with that day that getting out of bed seems difficult. For me, today is that day. My arms and legs feel lanky and awkward; my mouth feels like it can't form the right words, so here I am, lying in bed even though it is passed two in the afternoon.It is a day like this where I cannot decide whether I am contemplating the meaning of life, or simply find my bed the most appealing way to spend my day.What is it that causes this type of day for people? Is it the loss felt over a newly absent loved one? Is it a bad breakup? A falling out with a close friend? Is it stress, anxiety, or pressure? Do we take days like this to recuperate from our busy lives? What is it about waking up on a given day that causes this instantly uncomfortable feeling?My anxiety on this particular day is caused by a simple little noise, the jingling of keys.Keys open all types of doors: patio doors, front doors, back doors, apartment doors, car doors, shop doors, and even dorm doors. They also open all the things we want to keep safely locked away, such as: our iPods, jewelry, diaries or journals, laptops, game systems, etc. However, isn't there a metaphorical meaning behind keys too?I have worn a key around my neck plenty of times, but rarely have I been forced to ask what it stands for. When I have asked others what a key around their neck means, I have heard answers such as: "the key to victory," "the key to success," "the key to my heart," and "the key to my soul." If I had to choose meaning for my key, it would be "the key to happiness."This brings me back to my main source of anxiety, the jingling of keys, my key to open the door to happiness. It seems the keys others have are the ones bringing me down the most. I have hit a point in my life where, in social situations, if it comes down to choosing between a social dynamic or myself, I will always choose myself first. Even if it hurts or makes me feel isolated, I know it is the best to stand up for myself before becoming submissive to a social group’s dynamic.At the end of the day, you are all you've got. Never compromise yourself to appeal to others. Otherwise, you risk losing any true self you have. What person wants to lose them self so badly that they look in the mirror and don't know who they see staring back? My goal in the morning is to walk up to that mirror and see the strong and independent woman I know I am. Which is why I am now going to get out of bed and start my day. It may be a bit late, but, after all, the saying is, "better late than never," right?
